Fwurg

[Jedi Master Screetor]

Jedi Master Screetor was meditating in one of the temples many rooms when Shebi Ajava, guided perhaps by the Force, or perhaps of her own volition, or both, entered the room. The matter of Force guidance was more than a trivial concern, but whatever the cause, she was now here with Master Screetor.

"Welcome, Jedi Knight Shebi Ajava" the Jedi master stated rather formally, without opening his large fish-eyes, or moving from his position of meditation. "Meditate with me, will you?"

[Shebi Ajava]

Ajava was walking the halls of the Jedi temple without really intending to go anywhere -- she was lost in thought. Some of the thoughts small, others of great weight.

"I will, Jedi Master Screetor", Ajava replied formally. Not exactly sure what the formal address is about, but seeing no reason to do otherwise.

Without further communication, she sits down in the traditional meditation pose.

[Jedi Master Screetor]

After meditating for some thirty minutes or so, Jedi Master Screetor spoke, remaining in his position of meditation with his large eyes closed.

"You have feelings regarding the Jedi Council, and decisions that we have made. You hide them well. Would you share them with me?" he inquired - it was clearly a request, rather than an instruction.

[Shebi Ajava]

Ajava did not expect the request, and takes some time to think it over.

"Yes", she finally answered. "There are many decisions that have puzzled me, but with meditation and time most of them became clear."

She pauses for a moment.

"I am disappointed by the willingness of the Jedi Council to sanction the assassination of the Mandalore. We are not soldiers for the Union, nor are we the Union's assassins. Yet we were sent to the home of the Mandalore with the intent to kill.

There was no need for us to show our further dominance over the Mandalorians. From our earlier actions during the war and its aftermath it was clear that our fleets are superior, that we are capable of bloodily disrupting their training, and that we can incite warriors from their own territories against them.

What purpose is being served by killing the Mandalore?"

[Jedi Master Screetor]

Master Screetor smiled, pondering the question for a moment.

"The council and you are in agreement. There is no need to kill the Mandalore. We sanctioned the mission regardless because of deeper considerations." he explained

"The Mandalorians were a great unifying force for the Union, giving it a collective enemy to whom a united response was necessary. A desire for revenge, though the council has advised various Union officials against such feelings, is a natural, and unfortunately unavoidable consequence of the conflict, especially in those not as in touch with their emotions as the Jedi. And as much as we could have tried, we would not have been able to stop member worlds from pursuing such a strategy. Thus, if the council had refused to take on the mission at all, it would have driven a wedge between the Jedi and the Union, and the Union would have sought help elsewhere with forces who may not be inclined to take morality into consideration. Better that this be in our hands than that of another. This was one consideration discussed in the Council.

Another consideration is the involvement of the Mandalorians with other force users, most likely followers of the Sith ideology. While the Mandalorians at present do not pose a large threat, the Sith are a dangerous foe that must not be underestimated. The mission was a message to them as well, to stay away. They are motivated by fear and hopefully a show of force will dissuade them from additional warmongering, at least for a while. Even a short delay will save lives, and that is worth an effort on the part of the Jedi.

But there was one more reason for this mission to be sanctioned... and that reason is -you-."

[Shebi Ajava]

"I see.", she replied after a while.

She remains silent as she thinks about her feelings with regard to other decisions.

"There are times when I have doubts about the council's mission assignments.

Some of these assignments, such as with the infiltration of the red troop, made sense to me after more thinking. Sending two younger padawan with older more experienced padawan. It provides a learning experience for both the younger and the older padawan.

Other assignments made little sense given the situation, until the mission escalated beyond what is expected. I think that this was the case when empress Saret Neferti was escorted to the Slave Rebellion. I feel that the escorts she was assigned had a hand in the failure of the mission, as none of the Jedi had any experience with diplomatic assignments. On the other hand, it is easy to claim that the jedi should have stepped in. In my opinion the empress herself is as much to blame for the failure. The insight of the council was expressed by the fact that no one was seriously hurt due to the persistence and flexibility of the assigned Jedi."


"Then there are missions where mere children are sent to do the job of an adult. It is here that I still doubt the assignments. For example, padawan Rei and T'Sal were sent undercover into Mandalorian territory. I know that T'Sal is not actually a child, and holds high academic degrees, yet she is not wise in the ways of the world. Padawan Rei was still a child at that moment. They were succesful, so in hindsight their assignment worked out. Yet I have a nagging doubts about the choice."

"And then there is the fact that, for reasons that have so far escaped me completely, Salia has been sent to a rather bad part of town. On her own. A part of town that is known for it's shady characters, drug trafficking and occasional criminal shoot-out.", Ajava spoke calmly, but it was clear that she did not feel doubtful about it, instead, she was angry.

((OOC: Links for your convenience: Infiltrate Red Troop, Escort to the Slave Rebellion, Investigating the Mandalorians, Salia's first mission.

Also, I know that Salia's mission isn't done yet. I had hoped it would be finished by now, but it is not. So I applied FWURG's brilliant forum-quantum-time principle to still discuss it.))

[Jedi Master Screetor]

"It surely seems as if the selection of Jedi for missions is almost random, does it not?" it was a rhetorical question, but Jedi Master Screetor seemed to agree with Ajava. "I can certainly see how it would make one question the wisdom of the Council."

The Jedi Master looked at Ajava closely a moment

"The Jedi Council does not always asign the person who seems to be the most suited for a job. For example, you at a glance would not be the first choice for the mission to go after the Mandalore."

he explained

"There were dark aura's around you not too long ago. Aura's that would make one suspect you might be susceptible to the temptations of the Dark Side. We may not speak of it, but the Jedi Council can sense when someone is troubled by something. We knew, and as a result, some of the Jedi Council advised that someone like yourself - with knowledge of many secrets of the Union and of the Jedi - should not be put into a position where you might defect..."

It was almost like an accusation, but Ajava detected that it was far from that

"Yet we sent you anyway. And here you are. You have returned, and those dark aura's no longer seem to cast a shadow on your soul as they did before. You have grown from your mission, as a Jedi and as a person."

He looked away

"The Jedi Council sometimes makes choices that do not seem to make sense, but they are made with deeper reasons. Sometimes that reason is the growth of a Padawan, sometimes it is political. Missions do not always have the goal that they seem to have... but sometimes... sometimes we follow the Force. When we do, it cannot always be explained logically, and it does not even always produce a perfect result. But we know that it is how things ought to be, even if the outcome seems at first glance to be imperfect. Even if it seems to be an unacceptable risk.

Do you trust in the Force, Jedi Knight Shebi Ajava?" he asked formally

[Shebi Ajava]

"I do.", was all Ajava replies after a few moments.

[Jedi Master Screetor]

"Good..." the Jedi Master nodded. "Very good."

He kept quiet for a few moments, then continued to answer her question

"When the Jedi Council selects who to send on a mission, it trusts in the guidance of the Force. It does not always make sense in the moment, and we do not always see afterwards if this choice was better and why it was better. But we trust the Force regardless.

Does this answer your question?"

[Shebi Ajava]

"It does."


Ajava remains silent for minutes as she considers her last point. The next matter she wishes to mention weighs heavily on her. She wants to be careful when discussing it, especially since it seems to be a touchy subject.

"There is one more matter... Well two actually.", she starts, "I think this question needs some context."

"A little under a year ago, master Leithor sent me and padawan Rei to investigate the disappearance of Jedi Knight Irina Hightower. There were some rumours in the temple that a jedi had been abducted. Naturally, I wishes to help discover what had happened. Darones and me set out to follow her tracks in Unity City.

During our investigation, we discovered that she did not appear to be abducted but left of her own accord. Furthermore, based on several observations of her reported behaviour I concluded that she was pregnant. Because I thought her pregnancy would be relevant, I reported my observations to Master Leithor.

I was surprised to be told that that I should keep such accusations to myself, and that Irinia Hightower could be expelled based purely on the suggestion that she was pregnant. Master Leithor made it clear that I would get in trouble if I told anyone about my conclusion, that she always was a very good and loyal Jedi and that he would not have her name dragged through the mud."

"A short time later, I joined up with Ariana Danacia and Trigiel for a secret mission to travel to Quarsti IV to look for Irina. Master Leithor told us that the reason for the secrecy was that Irina is candidate to become a Jedi Master and join the council. He also told us that the council doesn't wish to instil a conflict in the senate over whether or not they should interfere. But what made it strange was that Master Leithor told us that the council wanted to hear her reason for leaving from her personally, and that we may need to convince her. The way he said it left little doubt about the fact that he actually suggested using violence to detain a fellow Jedi..."

"I have had long and deep thought about these events. Yet even in meditation, I have not been able to find any reason for these actions and opinions of the council. I trust in the Force, and understand that events may have a deeper meaning that can not yet be seen.

It might be that I am unable to understand that the Force is trying to make me see.", she pauses for a moment, "Or it might be that it is painfully clear to me."

She is silent for a while.

"One of the tenets of the order is the voluntary nature of membership. If one wishes to leave the order, they are free to do so at any time and for any reason. What reason does the council have to want to bring back Irina so badly, that they feel justified in resorting violence to do so?

Master Leithor made it very clear that being pregnant is the same as being disloyal, seeing how even the suggestion that Irina Hightower is pregnant is enough the expel her from the order... On what grounds does the council claim authority over the reproduction of Jedi?"

((OOC: For your convenience: post with IC+OOC statements on pregnancy, post with suggestion of using violence.))

[Jedi Master Screetor]

"For reasons that require no explanation, the Jedi Council actively forbids Younglings from engaging in activities that might result in pregnancy." he euphemised "And as their guardians, punishes such - and related - behaviour. In this case, it is our responsibility to do so, to protect the younglings.

Jedi Padawans are generally more mature, and as such this type of activity is left for them to explore on their own, with their teachers acting as mentors should they desire it. Regardless, the big step of getting pregnant, or marrying, is generally not conductive to a Padawans training. As such, the Jedi Council would only in very exceptional circumstances grant its blessing to such activities. Should a Padawan still feel a strong desire to take such a step in their life despite of the interference it would have on their training, this usually indicates that they are, or will not be happy continuing as Jedi, and would prefer to live a 'normal' life. Such is a fine and most acceptable thing - as you said, membership of the order is voluntary.

Many Padawans see this - they are aware of themselves and upon becoming pregnant or marrying, will step out of the Order on their own accord. In some cases, Padawans have a hard time seeing their own desires. They choose to become pregnant because they subconsciously know they do not wish to remain Jedi, but their conscience, perhaps through overzealous training, perhaps for other reasons, tell them to remain Jedi. In such a case, sometimes the Jedi Council has to step in and expel them, so that they can get on with the lives they actually want. In the end, they are almost always happier for it, and some, in a much later phase of their life, return to the order. The Jedi Council thus does not expel the Jedi for becoming pregnant, but because they seek a life outside the order, but feel obliged to stay, for one reason or another.

Knights run far ahead of Padawans when it comes to their maturity and training. They are far more able to judge themselves and their own choices, and are much more in control of themselves as well. When they become pregnant or marry, the same questions about their desires and interference with their training arise as do with Padawans, though answers are not always the same. If there is a problem though, the answers are generally much deeper. Where a Padawan may simply dream of a different life, a Knight will have a far deeper issue to sort out. And this makes the matter much more sensitive and complicated.

Jedi Masters - especially amongst the long lived races - sometimes marry and procreate. Generally they do so during an extended leave of absence, returning in time of need or when they feel once again that they can focus on their duties as Jedi Masters. As Masters, they are able to decide on such things without the Councils involvement."

The Jedi Master paused a moment.

"Or they should be able to, in any case."

The big eyes on the Mon Calamari's head focussed on Ajava suddenly.

"I do not support violence between Jedi" obviously the Jedi Master wasn't speaking of training exercises here, which he himself was a key teacher of "I recognise that sometimes a fight can be cathartic, allowing a Jedi to face and overcome emotions that were hidden deep inside, eating away at them. Regardless, it should never be a means by which one Jedi forces their will upon another. Using violence to bring in a straying Jedi is... extreme. It certainly seems odd that the Jedi Council would give such an order, does it not?"

That wasn't an answer to Ajava's question at all! But Master Screetor was not done yet as he continued to address Ajava's other question.

"Setting aside the ranks and positions which colour this matter for a moment... if you encountered a man who wanted to keep the pregnancy of a woman a secret... who threatened you with 'trouble' should you dare to speak of it... and who swore that the woman was of high moral character, because he knows her intimately... what conclusion might you draw about his motives?

If that woman subsequently decided of her own accord to leave... what would this tell you about hers?

And how might those answers cast a new light on instructions to use extreme means to get her back to him...?"

[Shebi Ajava]

After the last questions of Master Screetor, Ajava has a nagging feeling in the back of her head. She had pondered several less-then-jedi-like scenarios involving Irina and master Leithor, and it seems that Screetor very accurately pointed out one of them.

She sits in silence as she thinks back to her late teens, just after she had taken the second breath. Her mother had taken her training very seriously. Ajava values her veolian upbringing and her time in training, but some of the things she learned have not made things easier away from Mirda and the viciousness of veolian nobility.

In silence, she evaluates the situation again as master Screetor asked of her. But the nagging feeling does not go away.

After a while, she decides to simply tell master Screetor of both options.

"leaving rank and positions aside, I see two possibilities at first."

"I see a nice option. The man cares for this woman and wants to protect her even as she did something that she should not have done without much thinking. So, even though he is not the father, he tries to prevent rumours about her to spread in an effort to protect her reputation. In an alternate version, he might be the father himself wishing to protect his mate and her reputation.

At the same time, my veolian nature sees several not-so-pretty alternatives. The man has learned of her pregnancy, and wants to use the information as leverage over her. Or he is the father, either with or without consent, and wants to keep this fact hidden from his surroundings as best as possible. And of course there's the alternative where both are true."

"Her leaving can be motived by her wanting to hide her pregnancy from her surroundings, possibly from the man as well. Or it might be to get away from the man, especially if her situation is dire because of an unwanted pregnancy -- regardless of how she got pregnant."

"And that leads me to the final question. Though I am weighed down by the alternatives I have thought of."

"Using extreme means is only done in extreme situations. If he wants to help her hide her pregnancy, regardless of how she got pregnant, he would not give instruction to retrieve her such as it draws attention to her condition. So, I conclude that the man wants to either cover up his involvement with the pregnancy, needs her nearby to exert leverage the get her to do something, or she fled him and he wants to retrieve his child from her. The final alternative is that he gives these instructions to misdirect; knowing that these conclusions would be drawn he gives the instructions anyway to draw attention away from another fact or aspect of the pregnancy."

Having now actually answered Screetors question, Ajava continues.

"Now, I am split between two options. One motivated by his care for her, the other motivated by his gain, and a third option of unclear moral value. Motivation by gain is not the Jedi way, so I leave that option aside. Based on what I have learned of what Irina believes with regard to her pregnancy, it seems that the third option is a possibility", she looks at master Screetor, "I must tell you here -- I have not informed the council or master Leithor of this information because she asked me to, and she was convinced that no Jedi Master knew."

This brings me to where I end every time...", she sighs.

"Either the council knows of Irina's situation and has knowingly lied to me as it instructed me to use extreme force to return a fellow jedi knight, or master Leithor learned of her situation and has lied to me and used me to misdirect the council, or neither master Leithor nor the council know of her situation and I was still instructed to use extreme measures to return her.

The only justification I can see for the Jedi council to do so is if they are aware of her pregnancy, and want to prevent her from hurting herself or her child through badly informed choices. Yet such immaturity is very much at odds with being a candidate to become Jedi Master, so this is unlikely to be the case."

In thought Ajava added 'Or Irina is mistaken about the father', yet she kept silent about this option for now.

"I must admit, that neither of these outcomes fill me with confidence in the Jedi."

She felt oddly relieved having said this out loud, but it did little for her mood. It is clear that she is not very optimistic about the situation, yet she remains calm about it.

((OOC: For your information: Irina seems convinced that her child is by a Sith father., and that no Jedi Master knows.))

[Jedi Master Screetor]

"You analyze the situation in a way that a Veolian would... but in doing so you forget that neither Master Leithor, nor Irina, is Veolian." Master Screetor smiled - it was not an accusation or a criticism, but an observation intended to help Ajava see deeper into the problem.

"You describe the motivation of Master Leither from a logical perspective, from what he can gain or lose. But in doing so, you underestimate the value of the central fact behind your theory: that Master Leithor loves Irina."

The Mon Calamari Jedi Master looked at Ajava

"Let's analyze again the motive for Master Leithor to hide this pregnancy.

As you say, one motive might be that he is the father. Certainly a relationship like that, between a Jedi Master and a Jedi Knight, would not be appropriate and there would be ample reason to hide. This motive requires that we presume Master Leithor would cross such a line.

Another indeed may be that Master Leithor wishes to use this information to his advantage, to blackmail. But one might question what advantage he could gain that he as a Jedi Master does not already have. Even if there was one, as you said, this would be quite out of character for a Jedi Master.

And if both were true, then Irina would have as much ability to blackmail Master Leithor as vice versa.

But if we presume - for a moment - that Master Leithor loves Irina... then there is a third cause that may make him want to hide the pregnancy. That may make him resort to threatening 'trouble' should anyone be told. But that cause is not rational, so it might not occur at first to a disciplined Veolian mind: he may not want it to be so."

Master Screetor stayed silent for a moment.

"If Master Leithor loves Irina, then it stands to reason that the news of her loving another would be hurtful to him. He may not want it to be true. And spreading word might make it 'real' in a way that an obscure rumor can not. It would allow him to avoid the reality of things. Of course, it would not change the facts, which is why it is not rational... but it might impact the way it affects him emotionally."

The Jedi wasn't done yet though.

"If Master Leithor loves Irina, it also gives him motive to instruct - without the approval of the Jedi Council - that more extreme measures be used to retrieve her if necessary. After all, if he loves her, he will want her returned, no matter the cost.

That might seem to conflict with the first assessment, that he does not want to make her pregnancy 'real'. After all, seeing her pregnant would make it quite real quite quickly... but again, emotions are not rational."

He still wasn't done.

"And if Master Leithor loves Irina, then one might wonder if he is able to assess fairly whether or not she is ready to be considered for the rank of Master. Especially if at some level he still believes that she might love him back. Especially if at some place in his heart, he hopes that they can be together once she graduates to the rank of Master, where the taboo of a relationship between a Master and one of lower rank, as well as the unofficial limitations on those who still study, would disappear."

He looked at Ajava

"To a Veolian mind, this might seem completely irrational - because it is just that: completely and utterly irrational."

The Master remained silent for a moment again to let things sink in.

"The Jedi Code - or at least some versions of it - says that there is no emotion, but there is peace. Of course this is never fully true - we are not automatons. There will always be emotion. The code describes that we should be at peace, however, not ruled by our emotion. And if it is true that Master Leithor loves Irina, and that this has motivated his actions, then he is not at such peace. It might suggest that even a Jedi Master has his imperfections."

He smiled to Ajava, as if suggesting that obviously Jedi Masters weren't perfect.

"It is up to the Jedi Council to help a Master should such a thing occur. That is why we take decisions together, rather than each Master having his own domain to govern: because we recognize our fallibility." he explained "In such a case the Council might, for example, decide to send a specific Jedi Knight on the mission. One whom the Council believes has the wisdom to adjudicate whether or not violence should actually be used, regardless of the mission parameters.

And should such a Jedi Knight prove that she is indeed up to such a challenge... they might be sent off on a mission of even greater importance... one where such a call would need to be made again, but with an even greater impact on the galaxy."

[Shebi Ajava]

Ajava remains silent after master Screetor's elaboration of how he views the situation. She must admit, the idea that master Leithor could have acted in such an manner out of love had not come up in her. It went against what she was taught for much of her life, and it went against how she expected someone with the power of a Jedi Master should behave.

Then again, she is very aware that no living being is an automaton, and that there will always be emotion. She spent a lot of her time as a padawan learning to deal with the nature of her emotions as a hemet veolian. And it wasn't until well after her knighting that she came to terms with her emotions. It was actually a little embarrassing that she did not think of an emotion as the motivating force behind the up till now unexplainable behaviour. Especially with how she herself had allowed certain emotions to control her actions in the past, even while the situation was dangerous and in no way suited the pursuit of such emotions.

"An emotional motivation does explain a lot.", she finally said, "And makes the actions of master Leithor somewhat understandable. I still do not agree with them. But in honesty, given the long breath of my own emotions, I can not say with certainty that I myself would remain composed and rational if I fall in love. My childhood hasn't exactly prepared me for it."

She smiled a bit.

"My training with the Jedi has given me a perspective on my strongest emotions that I think few veolians outside of the Saśakta hai Vyavasthā have. In that perspective, I do feel somewhat confident that I would at least recognize the emotion's influence on my actions. Then again, love might blind me, as the saying goes."

Ajava feels a much better about the council and the jedi as a whole after talking to master Screetor.

"I am glad that I did not go against the direct wishes of the council by letting the Mandalore live. Even though it was a bit tricky, with Knight T'Sal actively trying to kill him even while I tried to keep him alive. The whole situation is behind us now, and only time will tell if I made the right choice... I have a good feeling about the current situation."

After that she simply sat there, partly expecting the master to dismiss her, and partly expecting him to add some final mote of wisdom before ending the discussion.

[Jedi Master Screetor]

"I am glad that you have found peace with this." the Jedi master smiled for a moment. "Now, let us meditate for a moment more. Then, if you have no further questions, there is something that we ought to discuss." It seemed that she was not yet being dismissed.

A silence fell as the two Jedi meditated once more, until an hour or so had passed.

"The council has discussed your recent growth, your ability to use the Force, your greater understanding of it, and the growth you have made as an individual." Jedi Master Screetor stated "It has also discussed the fact that since Irina has not returned, there is now a position available for a new Jedi Master."

They weren't two independent statements.

"This evening, there will be a special meeting of the Jedi Council. You shall wait outside the door until you are summoned in."