Fwurg

[Mercury]

The stage had been set and the lights and camera's were on. A crowd of people was gathered to observe the contestants and the jury was ready. Camera's were set up for pre and post performance interviews and all was ready to go.

With the sound of a bell and the red lights on camera's coming on the host, a human with dark skin and insanely blonde hair stepped onto the stage:

"Weeeeeeeelcome everyone to the new edition of Union's Got Talent! In this show, contestants from all over the Union come to show their trade and see if they can become world famous performers over night!

Contestants show us a performance act of their choice, which can be performed alone or in a group, after which the Jury delivers comments good" he changed voice to be much darker " or bad..." he changed back to a normal voice. "Those who make an impression stand a chance of becoming the latest talents in the Union, for sponsors are watching as well!

Keep in mind that contestants not actors, but rather private citizens who have not previously performed for money, so nobody knows how good or bad they will be. And they come here from all over the Union.

Let's get started with our first contestant!"

And thus, the first contestants came onto the stage.

((OOC: Please post your performances, and I'll post a jury response to it! If you don't see a jury response to the most recent post, please wait a moment with posting your performance until I managed to get to it!))

[Mercury]

The stage lights went down and fog rolled onto the stage. Out stepped a young human man with a goatee and a loose white shirt that let his chest hair show, tight leather pants stuffed into solid black boots. And then, he began to sing, in a warm, almost whispered voice

"I cant believe I'm trying to let you go
I love you so much and that you know
no one can see that I'm so sad
no one knows that it hurts so bad
they cant see through the lies
deep inside I want to cry
I sit in my room so dark, so black
for I can only wish I'll have you back
you were my first true love
I never wanted it to end
now my heart will never mend
baby you know that your the one
we used to have oh so much fun
but this time i messed up really bad
I knew I'd regret it
I knew I'd be sad
I know that now its really through
but baby never forget... that I... love...

youuuuu!"

As he finished the song, the lights dimmed a moment, then finally turning back on.

[Mercury]

Juror #1: "That was a lovely song, and you carried that final high tone excellently. You clearly spent some time on the special effects, and though I can't give you any points for that, it did much to enhance the feel. All in all an excellent performance."

Juror #2: "You seem to be a reasonable singer, and I do see a future for you but not in love songs. That song is absolutely horribly written. Did you write it yourself? Please get a songwriter and then we'll talk."

Juror #3: "Did you do a wardrobe check before you came on stage here? There a dead animal on your face making you look like a singing vagina from a Wookiee porn production. And its twin brother is coming out of your shirt in a way that makes me fear it is the rear end of a parasite burying itself into your chest. It totally ruins the song and makes what you sing are the cries of a dying man being eaten from the inside out. You shall never amount to anything because you don't belong on a stage, you belong in a zoo!"

[Mercury]

The stage was changed and a man dressed as a Mandalorian warrior came flying in with a jetpack, landing as the music powered up and then breaking into a strange dance number!

The crowd cheered!

[Mercury]

Juror #1: "That was a lovely dance, I can tell you worked hard on it. It must be especially hard to dance in that armour, which I feel added to the humour aspect of your performance. I laughed and found it quite enjoyable!"

Juror #2: "That was certainly an interesting dance, though I have trouble taking you entirely seriously in that suit of armour. I suppose that is the point, but I still think its not really what we are looking for."

Juror #3: "I have never seen such an utter piece of crap. You look like a tank and your movements mirror its elegance and subtlety. You make a mockery of all the veterans who were wounded or killed in the War with the Mandalorians and both your outfit and your failed attempt to keep pace with the music make me say 'too soon'!"

[Mercury]

An Ithorian dressed in bright colours rode out onto the stage on a speeder bike, carrying a microphone.

"So how about those Mandalorians ey? Like sales men, come in, press the issue then leave... Did you know the Mandalorians don't just send men to fight, but women as well? They're called 'Womandalorians'!"

Ba dum-tssshhh!

"Must be hard being one of those. Whoa. But at least its better than being a Twi'lek gambler. 'Heads or tails'..."

Ba dum-tssshhh!

"Yeah, they hate that shit. So I met this Twi'lek Jedi chick once, boobs as big as melons. They all seem to have those, its like their mammals or something. Anyway, no manners on that one, kept eating with her hands like a savage. So I told her 'Use the forks'."

Ba dum-tssshhh!

"Yeah, she did not like that. Angry that one, left almost right after that. So I see her walking off and this Wookiee waiter goes and makes it all philosophical, asking me why she crossed the road. So I says 'to get to the Dark Side'."

Ba dum-tssshhh!

"Normally Jedi aren't like that. They usually have patience. That's why Doctors often make the best Jedi. Because they have patients."

Ba dum-tssshhh!

"Course, if you have to fight Sith, it can piss you off. But most Jedi are very good with their lightsabers, so I imagine one just coming in and putting that lightsaber through the guts of five Siths to make a Sith-Kebab!"

Ba dum-tssshhh!

"At least the Jedi live on Unity. Imagine if they were living on some back-water world in the outer rim: 'May the force be with y'all'"

Ba dum-tssshhh!

"That's all I've got for you for tonight, you were a great audience."

And with that, the Ithorian bowed and drove off the stage

[Mercury]

Juror #1: "I am still laughing, that was hilarious. You're obviously very talented and I think you have a good future career as a stand up comedian. Just get rid of that silly drum thing."

Juror #2: "Most interesting. Very good job on breaking the Ithorian stereotype, you're quick on your feet and have humour, unlike some other famous Ithorians. Its not my kind of humour, but I can totally see the appeal."

Juror #3: "You think you're very punny? See what I did there, that was an example of a horrible joke. Mispronouncing stuff does not make a it a joke, and making fun of the Jedi just makes you a sad person. Your jokes are so stupid, I'm surprised you did not sell your speeder for gas money."

[Mercury]

((OOC: There does not appear to be a lot of interest in participating with the talent show. I am closing the storyline next Monday for this reason. If you still wish to post and claim some experience, please do so before then.))

[Astrian Colonial Authority]

A young Astrian girl walked onto the stage, holding a violin case. She opened the case and took out a small camera with a projector attached to it, the device had a stand.

Having set up the camera and activated the projector, the girl grabbed something else between her thumb and index finger from the case, before closing the case. She held whatever she had grabbed in front of the camera. The projector showed an enlarged image of what the camera saw.

In between her fingers the girl held a minuscule violin. She started playing a sad melody. She played extraordinarily skilled, making Unity's smallest violin produce pure, beautiful tones.

When she was done the girl bowed.

[Mercury]

Juror #1: "What a beautiful melody! It brought tears to my eyes! Amazing!"

Juror #2: "Interesting choice of instrument. I'm not sure if wielding something so tiny truly helps with the performance, as most people will not be able to benefit from a live performance, but over the holonet, this could be quite a hit! No doubt it can become an interesting meme!"

Juror #3: "Have you considered what entertainment is actually about? It is about making people happy, not sad. The high tones irritate my ears and the only thing smaller than that violin is your talent!"

[Veolian Commonwealth]

A veolian man, barely older than 20, walked onto the stage. He wore a simple outfit, and carried a bar stool with him. As he set the stool down in the centre of the stage, the lighting dimmed a little, and a spot put him in a bright light.

"My name is Rahanē Laksyar.", he spoke slowly, with a clear bariton voice. "I would like to recite two poems relating to a recent experience of mine."

He waited for a bit, and spoke clearly after taking a deep breath.

"Forest peace
grey walls, a shot fired --
leaves rustle"

He let a pause fall after the second line, slightly overemphasizing the third line.

"Zoom of car leaving
white hair flowing -- A plate broken
pieces at my feet"

With the second poem, his timing seemed a bit better, but was still off a little.

[Mercury]

Juror #1: "What a meaningful expression of your experience. I was touched by the sincerity of your feelings and I deeply appreciate you sharing the inner world of your heart. Thank you!"

Juror #2: "The variation on the primary theme of the two poems represents a philosophical deviation of the de-constructive undertone, linking love and war in a ballet of images that traverse the mind, initiated by the lyrical composition of the poet. What it means to the listener, is best left unsaid."

Juror #3: "What's off every time?
Your syllable count, moron.
You don't even rhyme!"

[Mercury]

With the final candidates having shown off their talents, the show came to an end.

((OOC: Thank you all for participating, the show is now closed.

Because of the cultural impact on Unity, the following worlds receive 1 - Veolian Commonwealth, Astrian Colonial Authority. This will be fully awarded when a story page is created.))

[Veolian Commonwealth]

((OOC: Have a look at the story page!))

[Mercury]

((OOC: This looks good! I have added a reward entry!))